The things we hit on two wheels

The things we hit on two wheels

Posted by Ben Baker on Dec 18th 2016

What's the weirdest thing you've ever hit while riding a motorcycle?

After checking forums, I discovered that you can't get into the Top 100 Weird Things Hit Riding if it's just a bird. Depending on what happens to the bird, you can make the list. Bugs can make the list, but it's got to be more than a cicada that nearly knocks you out of the saddle. Other animals, even bats, won't make the top 50 list unless something more happens. Ride alongside a golf course often enough and you'll either be a near miss or get hit with one of those small balls.

Topping the list of weird things to run over, a body. Anyway, here's a list of the weirdest things I can find.

Eye_m_no_angel: I ran over an aluminum storm door once. Had a few close calls with alligators and various big birds. A guy I know ran over a dead guy laying in the road which caused him to wreck and break both wrists.

ChuteTheMall: The bay. Saltwater. Got about 100 yards down the beach, tried to make a U-turn, went too wide, stalled it, couldn't find neutral, couldn't restart it, small waves gently breaking over the engine.

Ketchboy: I didn't see the tumbleweed racing towards me. It hit me broadside and ... stayed there. My riding partner was laughing his ass off until the friction of the tumbleweed sliding along the pavement caused it to catch fire. That's when we pulled over and he and I untangled myself. Obviously, it wasn't much of a fire, but well worth stopping at the next bar for a beer.

TimRato: I was riding through a state park this weekend and got a tennis ball to my right thigh.


Girgnt1zbt: I got hit by pieces of a sandwich once. It was a 4 lane divided highway, I was in the right lane, and as a car came around me in the left lane the passenger threw out part of a sandwich, and pieces of it hit me.

Scott19: I had someone throw a bowl of spaghetti at me from behind while I was riding my bicycle once. I'm bopping along, minding my own business, and this large wad of pasta comes flying past my head! Luckily, it missed. Who carries a bowl of pasta around in their car, anyway?


owidjonz: The exhaust of a low flying jet, I did not know what it was as it was hitting me, just sounded like a train the wind was crazy. I was on a dirtbike (YZ 250) in West Virginia. A friend saw the military jet, it flew down just above the trees and then took off.

Busy Little Whiner: 2,400 gallons of pink fire retardant from the bomb bay of PV-2. It was like having my bike covered in pancake batter.


MarcS: Riding alone in the inky black night, I rode through a swarm of fireflies at high speed. For the next few minutes, green light was everywhere. Apparently, the impact caused the firefly light chemical reaction to go cascade. It was like I was the survivor in a bad alien horror flick, having felled my foe and become covered with his iridescent evil blood in the fight. Or I had just accidentally dropped acid. Or something.

ft38278: I hit a bunch of lightning bugs (fireflies) and made the mistake of trying to wipe off my helmet face shield. I smeared this glowing yuk all over the face shield and could hardly see where I was going. I slowed and pulled off to the side of the road. When I got off the bike and looked at my helmet and clothes I had them things smashed all over, I looked like a glow stick.


FazderThanU: You'll never believe but once back a few years ago I got hit with a newspaper. Newspaper boy wasn't paying attention to where he was throwing. Almost knocked me off my bike.


Zam70: Riding along at a good clip and out of the corner of my eye I see something big flip up from the side of the "road" flopping through the air and SPLOOSH I nail it right dead center and disintegrated into a wet goo. It took my brain a sec to realize what happened - the fish guts and scales sealed the deal. Fish jumped up out of the water. Weirdest thing I've ever hit.

Hotbrakes: 1 Hawk, 1 small snake, 1 half digested frog. The hawk took out the headlight of my RC51 at over 100mph. The impact caused its evidently full stomach to disembowel itself as well revealing a partially digested frog inside. One frog leg was inside the headlight bucket. (Snake held by the hawk presumably.)

Baz: I am riding along one day and this hawk swoops down into the ditch and snaps up a mouse. On his way back to altitude he comes flying out of the ditch straight towards me. (This is now happening in slow motion) The hawk (a big one) looks me in the eye and drops the mouse, just before he plants his face into my brand new zero gravity windscreen. (The mouse's feet were in running mode at the time the hawk let go). The hawk's head goes right through the screen and it decapitates it from the body, the body hits me in the throat and the end result is that I was a little shaken up, but covered in blood and hawk feathers that stood out pretty well on my leathers.

Here's another list